11 Feb Sunday
Catching up the work that's been left-over - research. It's interesting to dig more about Richard Long's work by looking at those images. Not just the mini paper prints that I saw at Chelsea library (the small exhibition they have, just as CSM library, the little section to display images and texts), mostly with the repeating pattern of 'circle' and the grand background of the nature scene. It did inspire me a lot (ideas and reflections) and the books on the shelf 'The Poetry of Forms' (sculptures are beautiful, my attention is not overly occupied by paintings, and sculpture not in a way as purely? traditional sculptures). And the (textile) book with 'mould'-look-like patterns, then i got the idea of 'why not try and paint something on the plaster rock?', but 'how?' by using oil? and paint, but can the material work with plaster - experiment!
The rocks in a line (Road Stone Line, China by Richard Long) is indeed a way to show the trace and the line that reaches far far than the standing-point where the viewer is here and now. It is like an invitation to intrude / intrigue people to follow the path and see what's further, Alice in the Wonderland, and the curiosity that people holds, and in the actual park, around the playground the the gate, there are two rocks there as a gate door, as a territory, in the middle is the pathway to playground.
The circles he made (Connemara Sculpture, Ireland) was similar to one of my ideas to let visitors to follow the path of my rocks (spiral) and see the wrapped gift in the centre, but the reality is the amount of plaster 'rocks' and the size of them comparing to the location i chose. but at least there were doggies following the path of my rocks (some of them, maybe 3) and sniffing them, I am glad they did not pee on them since they like marking their invisible territory, I assume that's because they recognize that they are not wood? not usual. but with the smell of plaster / mixed paint and they are not fan of that? And I heard there was a doggie sitting in the centre of the spiral centre, those rocks i made are quite bright, and from the distance, the doggie just like a giant sculpture that's part of the rocks. My reaction was hahahah, it was very sweet for the doggies and me, mutual mutual.
Extracted from the research page - "serves as a site from which to view the surroundings", so the definition of 'Site-Specific'? can also be imported other objects to the site (completely irrelevant material that's not selected or a part of the site, but have a connection of its surrounding?) i.e. I didn't choose or collect the rocks in the park as a re-creation or display in a way ('Collection' / methodology). I like the piece that I saw in a private view, the work seems like was inspired by the artist in the lecture brief - Melanie Counsell Matt's Gallery, 1995 - the artist lowered the height of the gallery. Basically the site-specific work is shot in several angles within a space like a gallery, the structure on the top wall had been deconstructed like the scene after a natural disaster (hurricane?) ... I was 'wow', this is 'site-specific', the material he chose is just on site - the ceiling.
7 Feb Wednesday
I know I have to catch up on the progress and fill out the blank (research - uploading images / reflections!). But I've been fascinated by the marks of 'X' and '-' that appeared on the name tag outside the portfolio case since this evening after picking up it from the Slade. Noticed the difference from mine and my alongside classmate - I've got an 'X', which i like, but what if it means something else? not just some random marks or could be marked by different people? (the paranoid time kicked in). Then I searched websites learned about the different cultures of using the mark - 'X' particularly, even in the language of tattoo, 'X' can represent meanings like mysterious (?), which i read on a book about the symbolism of the tattoo, they truly are about play around with symbols and patterns, adding a hint of hidden meanings behind them, as if a ritual celebration (?) emotional value and personal values varied. Thinking in a positive way, I might be selected (as in elections, people use 'X' to make the final decision in most of western countries, completely different from how Asian culture transform / manipulate / re-form the meaning of 'X' and tick (cross: wrong / tick: right). The possibility is higher that I posted a question to ask others - the result is 2 with lines (so it's not a random mark, interesting). Doing research (may seem random to the project itself, but I found it's essential - not a waste of time! (Fine Art is great!). For at some point, those pieces, the articles that you've read about, interests, the broader the better it can be, as the waterfall that rush through the edge, all those little raindrops gathering together into powerful flood.
Just as the afternoon lecture mentioned the Pyramid, these are broad (maybe too broad without a specific theme) corner rock stones that can make the foundation solid then inspirations - all the decorations, paint can be put on later.
5 Feb Monday
Did some experimental little paintings (with paint and paint brushes, so not drawings, not with pastels) - colors and lines in a different approach than i used to paint. Inspired the book I borrowed from the library - Jonathan Lasker - those webs/ lines/ circles/ colors ... with the titles that seem more obscure than the paintings themselves, super abstract. but with those simple repeated patterns, he created a playful maze, a board to play with composition, color forms, backgrounds that become a colorful, fluffy or monstrous kingdom at last. I like the word the book used 'ambivalent' as in the full sentence is "the ambivalent or continually alternating relation between figure or form and (back) ground." (wish my English could be like this, straight. right to the point.)
Evening lecture - Joanna Zylinska: Pictures from the End of the World: Nonhuman Photography. Just as any other contemporary art pieces (paintings/ ...) - how to distinguish a good photograph from so many others' work? - amateurs like everyone who has a camera or a digital device to take photos. modern. "anti-camera intervention - camera", "forms of perspectives", "image obesity"... then what is the thing that can be considered as 'creative'? Probably that's one of the reasons why 'avant-garde' is dead? the lost novelty ?
24 Jan Wednesday
The day to get ready and packed in the afternoon (van transporting works). But in the morning, still colouring the bits, at least finished all layers of white plaster - to make sure every bits and corners are covered. Considering the outdoor environment - rainy or windy - unexpected natural conditions, followed the professional advice, 1.braush one more PVA outside the complete rocks 2. secure the rocks ob the bottom.
Question (i'm not sure if I've typed down / asked earlier) : wondering if people (artists) would avoid / make a compromise / change the original ideas for the safety / concern of the public or the environment - which is essential to consider before you start picturing? Or they find solution to tackle them / face the problem?
After reading this part of the context from the research (Melanie Cousell)
"For fire safety reasons, the room had long been disused, and was closed to the public. Counsell’s solution was to build a simple glass wall supported by a steel frame in the form of a cross. This wall completely blocked the entrance to the space, sealing off all the objects and the evidence of their use. The glass was punctured by drilled holes in the shape of a diamond, not unlike the speaking holes in a bank teller’s window."
It can be. both - either rejected by self or the situation is available to knock it dead. it's all about consideration and your own decision. "doable"? but also meet your aesthetic view?
4 Feb Sunday
Sunday. Work on Paper Fair round 2. After the Friday evening talk by Grayson Perry.
The piece (by Kenneth Rountree) that stands out is the only one that framed in the normal glass frame but it was not painted or a drawing, instead it was combined with found objects and in a way - organized. I found it's intriguing to know what the artist tried to present - the idea ? or just the pure image aesthetic. It is indeed a work that's on paper - got the elements of colored paper, tickets (?), wood and such.
I found the preference of mine has changed, there are lots of skilled traditional drawings (paintings/ prints) for sure (landscapes/ portraits/ …). The abstract pieces are the most interesting ones, playing with colours and lines (forms like triangles, random combinations).
Interviews
3 days in-a-row. I surely learned something new, not taking it as an interview (? that's what i heard from tutors - trying not to be too nervous. indeed it helped. went with my greasy hair, daily cozy outfit, while others seem to be well-dressed, ladies.) a bit nervous but mostly like a progress tutorial, particularly after the interview at CSM(2rd). I did manage to put enthusiasm into explaining my works - lots of sculpture pieces to say, very enjoyable to do that. I've found myself more and more into sculpture works. Taking lectures and seeing exhibitions more about sculptures (installations and such with a better understanding, not fully but seems interesting, way more interesting than paintings. probably? only if the paintings are lively enough to stick around longer.)
Camberwell (1st): probably due to the portfolio includes too many drawings or drawings which i thought they are paintings ? never actually thought about 'drawing' as in a term to describe my work, since it's one of the sketchbook, with sketches, and paper works. So I learned what 'drawing' is. It can be with colors, dramatic lines just as my style. It can be appeared within sculpture pieces, i.e. lines and spaces, shades / shadow on the wall?
Chelsea(3rd): ‘Gego’ – recommendation from the interviewer that reminded him of the artist. I checked on that later – the work she did is incredible - 'space' itself is an incredible concept. I had found chicken wires are interesting as well during the workshop, took photos of their forms - random and each one of them is magic.
22 Jan Monday
Colouring / Mixing colours with plaster. It is a different media now - plaster is involved, which means the selection of colours has to be 'balanced' / in harmony. maybe not that carefully considered, if you are not tested on paper or others, for the plaster is quite tricky. but the good thing is you can always put layers and layers on if you ruin the first layer.
Tested things out first. Tried acrylic (green one looks awful, way awful than the mould itself, then painted a layer of the green one? too awful. the problem with acrylic paint outside the plaster is the effect - colours are too dark (or bright? but it's with dark hue kind of bright / vibrant but awful, I don't want to look at it over 3 seconds.
The colour that I'm satisfied for the day is 'raspberry milkshake' series - candy shades. and i know i can't make all of the 7 rocks same outfit - should be something like rainbow - 7. but it looks a bit dull just by covering one colour. So add it up - 2 layers of colours or more with brushes - still keep my wild man brush strokes. And it 's not that bad, just takes more time than you thought the process would be - not just simple plaster with water. The patience and over and over again is also the key. P.S. later private view, they have a plate of little desert called 'Rose & Pistachios', they have the same shade - lovely sweet - exactly the effect i want.
18 Jan Thursday
Keep working on the 'rocks'. After Wednesday, so it turned out the model is not necessary, the biggest one shall be too heavy to maintain the balance. I was actually thinking about the question - how can i take the 'rocks' off after they are solid on the material, also inside through the end and the start of the 'rock' ? (take it out then cover them with plaster?). So another technician (lovely lady - way better communication) today, she recommended that I can just put the initial form of the 'rock' on the table, then cut the fabric bandage roll into strips, dip them one by one in the bowl of plaster. Note to myself - the amount of water and the percentage of plaster is considered, may vary every time. Hard to control the timing (of getting solid), and got limited space just for one side of the 'rock', so a few altogether for one bowl - save the plaster (time to wash the bowl all over again). First layers - white plaster (the cheapest one inside - no need to think about the rain and others at this stage).
Play around with chicken wire (and air?) by adding pressure on them, form a random shape for each of the 'rocks'. I like the random dots (plaster) after they dry out on the wood block that I had been used as a base to covering plaster around the chicken wire. the left-overs with the red background, looks like an expressionist's painting. I like those forms of 'being casual' - as one book entitled "the poetry of form".
I'm happy that I finally tried not looking at others playing with colours, mixed with plaster or so. Even the darkest (ugly) blue can be turned into a milky blue like candies, marshmallows, soft sweet blue. And the texture when your hands are soothing / creating this effect on the surface, different way of painting / playing with colours by hand.
16 Jan Tuesday
I like the quick talk that tutor mentioned in the morning "small things can be magical.." the rest I might just forget (I am catching up workflow and I have to be honest). Right after my low self-motivation seeing the giant ladder then look at my (not-even-existed) tiny bits of plaster 'rocks' at the moment. I know it's not right to have competitions and not healthy, but I just feel down (it might just the intervention of my low self-eteem?) ..
It had been very rewarding - I am so happy that ..
1. Finally I learned how to handle screw driver and drill technically. new toys. not afraid of little machines. very proud of myself indeed. at least i tried (not avoiding) and nailed them, feeling cool. very professional.
2. Made a model with wood blocks that I found in the wood workshop as usual - found objects (not anymore! got bones and structures!). brought out my masculinity (the other man side) . next step - stepping in wood workshop and embracing the machine and make myself canvas stretcher ? It's a essential surviving skill (in the future) I have to face and tackle them!
3. Cool new structure - the bendable material to drill nails in (holes like that type of cheese), to secure a bit (if i have to make several 'rocks' at the same time - to save some time? - low speed tortoise) as a model. The curves, the hollowness, the forms, the space within / around the model looks beautiful. it is much more fun than painting all day long! I think I just made myself a first little proper sculpture, literally.
15 Jan Monday
Questions :
1. Does a sculpture piece in the park should be massively big? though it gives audience the immediate experience about the general impression about the piece , 'wow' . simplicity can be astonished when they are enlarged and displayed in a different setting, but what about the meaning or concept behind the piece? to stress the notion of daily objects? (Saw the ladder that had been placed in the studio after the day)
Signed off the proposal, the problem that I have is 'the change of heart', after the discussion with tutor last Thursday, I shouldn't have thought too much about new ideas anymore. Saturday went back the park for field observation? or I was running out of certainty / confidence to be sure that the location is the one?
2. Just think about the outdoor environment (extreme weather, for example : windy - for this reason , lots of ideas and the way how the materials should be used - rejected . So there should be the ideas first or materials the first to consider based the setting, e.g. : gallery or the room space?
11 Jan Thursday
The Story of Loss
loss. repression. the feeling of loss. 'splitting of the ego'. how to save a life? by 'Mourning and Melancholia'.
Artists who like to collect found objects as a way to appreciate (the feeling of loss) the old abandoned daily objects, as the artist Jane Freud. Robert Smithson's 'The Gallery of Loss Art' , a way of collection to mark the existence of the things. stick to the 'subject to withering', not his 'subject to weathering', short or long lives shall all disappear ? what about things that are covered with amber ?
Simon Faithfull who collected stories in the book of 'LOST'. 'nothing' as in his writing about 'LOST'. make a list of 'THINGS NO.' is a piece of story, as how you notice the specific numbers like time, date .. something like yesterday - 10/01/2018 . late morning woke up @ 08:48 . battery shown 49% . song check / radio 6 @10:24 . wrote reflection 37 minutes 738 words (?) . the time that i borrowed the book from the library shown on the receipt 14:46 ..
Morning @11:48 found the word (research) that i had a dream about, not Pocettili (? wrong spelling - Botticelli - 'The Birth of Venus'), but Fibonacci Sequence ! which you can see in conch shells, roses and so on, the circular geometrical sequence which assembles the symmetric of the natural - everything.
not Botticelli - the venus on the shell, but Fibonacci - the spiral of the shell . coincidence about the shell .. plus the setting is in the park again (mysteries, romances, secrets ...)
stains . mould . as their ways of saying the time and space , intimidating . a porto to transfer to another space . a mark as the proof of existence . Park has its own history, some of the tress as you can see have mould on its surface, like the (medical but art) book which illustrates the diseases that happen on human, mostly the images of swell, 'mould' as a sign of unhealthy ?
Park in the winter are full of green , what if people who have colour blindness - grey or lower saturation, they will choose something bolder as the colours in Van Gogh's Sunflower - bright yellow , for the kids , patients , busy life or not but lighten the mood , which is also a good palette for the park - it needs more lively element in the daunting season .. playful adventure . colour uses as Franz West , sweet like sweets , marshmallows ..
10 Jan Wednesday
Chelsea (Library)
Got this idea when I was attending the talk during the open day. Just as how people get ideas when they are playing around / relaxing / on the road / sleeping for days (the artist from a book ..)
I don’t know why people set the one tree in a circle - the area close to the Lauderdale House -
while lots of the trees are within the area of green filed . I don’t know why (most) people do not walk on grass (for relaxing, maybe too cruel for the lives of grass .. not us - for a purpose) , not even dog walker , but following the pave (path) , not kids - running through the huge space in the middle of the dope? Probably because the adults are too tired or they are not wearing wellies for the wet grass field just like me . people gets scared of things a lot when they grow up , not as kids. The artist who did that ‘play with the senses’ are a good example. To interact with the audiences while kids can be quite playful or curious about everything, installations particularly, that’s why there are supervisor (monitor) who are standing there to say ‘please do not touch that’. They want to touch. They will follow the path , anything that attract their attraction. Not worried too much about if it’s trap or not. Stories from the children’s book – do not take sweets from strangers , just as the red hoodie(?) with the wolf, the snow white and evil step-mother .. funny thing is the coincidence emerged – they all happened in the forest with trees!
- and a circle with a bit of green grass area (and benches). and I notice the 2 rocks around the playground area, two sides of the path. Kind of like an invitation with the walking path itself . Idea : why not use the walking path and the rock element to invite people from the door (side) to come up the stairs and see the work of mine ? and also some areas that have been abandoned ? not noticed that much. Just as the aritist who did the rabbit shape litter , but I’ll do the sweet package shape – even a ruber eraser got so many forms from daily life with colours or even smells ! but how to make them ? (time!) but coloured rocks ? with interesting forms . mineral ? moulded colourful stains (weathering – subject to weathering) the one I collected from Efinburgh .
stains .. the book ‘The Liing Surface’ basically about textile. But the knitting elements on the benches around the uk is known for the society. For charity for patients who can be benefit themselves form knitting while decorating the winter time .. lightened the mood.
People just coer or paint something white or ropes in winter time to protect the cold weather, but what if trees can have their own cloths as a personality ? by saing words (notes as a noticed? But it’s too cruel to pin them on the tree. If tree can feel the pain? Grass can ? the smell after they’ve been ‘shaved?
People say love a tree then climb on them ?
rocks (the broken eagles statue is part of the historical decorateons in the park. Not just trees can represent / tell the time of a place or an object.
Yesterday I had this idea , so now, this morning I think I have to reject the one I had been working on with (sketches) , for the short time period if I have to stick with the initial plan – to create a
Richard Long
Circles . desert . gor inspired .
History of the park . just as those files , wraped in a way just as the post I collected at my table (notice board last night , thinking idea)
Tent from te powepoint . forms . the female artist covers herself as a form / chair.
Think about the tree , if cover them , that’d be quite scary like a ghost .
Working in the public space really need have lots to consider. Can not be intimidated . reject some other develoing ideas but by recording them as a future resources .
Natural History Museum.
‘polish’
if I polish the surface of the wood on the top, if it will show the age of the tree?
In a pile ? and in a circle.
Stonehenge or the field they are all in a form of circles ? the mysterys energy all connected / gathered in a circle . ‘Outlander’ the circle in Scotland (check the area) . Poteriiii maths circles 3.27259 ‘pie’
The symmetrical of the universe I assume.
‘Poetry of the form’
playing around with the form and paper cutting ! with colous, images , the mysterys unnamed form with
Stain. Working on woods or plaster . workable littlee but many objects. Around the park with coloured littlee items. Notice or un-noticeable. Mould. How ?
Oil . paint. Sewing . adding different material that are related to the park . just as the artist who did the ‘stripes’ outside the building . mine’s got my own similar style.
Mould also means the time . history. Dying processs ? research how do the mould exist? Why? Different forms , shapes, colours ..
Trace path . eventually focus on the tree which has dark mould on it ?
The images I saw on the book – feels like a time space or womb hole ? as the tv show – Doctor Who .. also the outer – space – black hole? 恒星 stain . look-alike .
I have to sit down and type (not part of the plan to stay that long) I know I’ll spend lots of time in it, have to let them down. In case I know different time and space I can not rememeber or have the urge to type those ideas out again.
Can be workable . comparing with the wired tea cups from the 30cm height of the tree branch to the big Mad Hater hole ..
Paper rolls as tree branches – twisted with colours . not to the sky but to the ground .
8 Jan Monday
Lecture really helps by introducing ideas of other artists, particularly with the concept (contexture) of 'Site-Specific'. Lots of ideas were / are coming out, which after day 1 of the project - visiting the park - I have no clue, not even the idea about which spot to use .. same as this morning when thought about and chatted with the classmates.
Plan A: ('in case' that was the word the tutor used) - the initial idea (also I think is the most clearest / interesting one at the moment). When the artist who did the 'Dominos', huge ones, the space how he used to interactive with the public, the sort of images just reminded me of huge chess board, which is fascinating that (I do not remember but the vague imagery i saw somewhere, films?) the old historical buildings (particularly rich family), in front of their priority, they've got the huge maze or chess board as a part of the decorations. it also can be related to Duchamp's 'Chess Board' which he described in the short video as a movement (?)
Alice in Wonderland's tea party in the afternoon, winter doesn't look good, windy, cold, so i thought about build the
family park as well. kids - dreamy world , inquisitive just as Alice.
mix the idea of artists' colourful plastic(?) material + tent. the fallen abandoned tree trunk can be valuable and noticeable again! as a table (if it's big enough to put tea cups on it)
The tour around the park (site) is essential, though not that significant, but whichever
have to go back on hill again to do the measurement, the spiral (triangle not square box space)
Idea B: Robert Smithson's words are one of the parts that really caught my eyes. "subject to weathering which should be part of the piece' (which firstly I took the word as 'withering', later i checked the dictionary i was wrong, but still interesting, when you think about those dying materials, almost everything physically or us as human, withering like flowers in the winter, waiting to be dead at some point, not eternally ? or could be.) His installation with mirror and reflection of soil got me this idea -
His essays on the website are poetic, which are related to the his thoughts about art, not like me - with my feelings (emotions/ towards people or so..?)
Examples: Gardens by the Bay nature park, Singapore
_____________
Was writing about my own personal reflection (state), then just somehow - now (midnight) - checking 'Round Table / King Arthur', a circle / a table just like a tea table ? where they gather different elements (badge) to every corner as a representation of honour . It's all linked / came out somehow. The square with benches just outside the Lauderdale House, interesting arrangement, quite ritual.
"health check . check mate . 'transfer out . sharing info . same stories . again / again . in depth . psychiatric assessment . quirky spot . imagined scenario . round table ? king / members ." .. Was measuring the tree height and space around, the photo i took looks just like examining physical health of the tree, with the form of the tree, humanized ? just as a dancing human body , maybe too old (texture / appearance) or rotten inside out?
and think about the hospital around the area. what type of hospital? family park with kids (play) or dog walkers (lots). the culture here - tea!
Just as the artist in the powerpoint, installation which is stressed (inspired) by HVI, just as the artist I saw in The Fruitmarket Gallery, Edinburgh - Jacqueline Donachie 'Right here among them', how she used the material, the piece she did was inspired by her family's disease (as she mentioned in the interview - short video).
6 Jan Saturday
'Site-Specific' - new art term for the sculpture pathway.
1. Just as the bus stop near The Slade, someone got the blue-ish marker pen written on the glass. which is quite an attraction for the people including me noticing and looking at it for a while, (about what it's made of? can it be peeled from the glass? water-proof? who did that? I wander it's someone from The Slade - bold art students. later when i came back again months later, there were something new up there, with similar hand-writing, with a signal.) while the cars are driving pass the street. Just as the physical rule - relative movement? when you see the words on the glass (part of the bus stop), comparing with the moving cars on the street, passengers are moving from different angles, still VS moving.
2. Just as the exhibition I saw in City Art Centre, Edinburgh during the holiday (inspirations). Lizzie Farey, the artist, use branches as her elements for the installation (sculpture pieces), gathering forms of small branches by manipulating the direction into something bigger or grand. Just as the paintings with different directions or powers or brush strokes, but without the canvas. just the organized branches with the endless white wall as the canvas (background).
3. Barbican library today - textile exhibition with plants as main objects about flower market.
Gardener's got great techniques and tools to fix the grass or something bigger. Just as the film 'Edward Scissorhands', how he style the bush(?) with sharp cut, with animal or other lovely shapes. The reality is I can not.
'The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge' - the TV show I saw during the summer holiday last year - something about the 'conceptual gardens' is quite interesting, yes, conceptual has gone viral, being used everywhere, not just design or art, even gardening?!
What if the branches (abandoned tree truck itself) as the canvas (which is round) to be added on elements (decorations?) not the plinth? but the arched soil as plinth - the ground itself is the plinth.
4. wrote a poem (if i can call my writings as a form of poetry) again about my feelings. googled the 'everlastings'. one photo gave birth to this random idea - just a circle of bright yellow flowers, the contrast with the surrounding - the desert. play with the colours and the space around (contrast). It'd be interesting that people can see something bright yellow 'Chrysocephalum' (daisy family) in the park, since all i could see is green green green. plus the patients would love and need bright colors to boost energy! not mentioning the cold brutal white gray winter.
'sunrise blue'
sunrise is blue
blue is not blue
rising up .
the moment .
disappearing .
the same time .
just as the sunset
'sunset blue'
the heart is blue
feelings are cloudy
spiky like thistles
vague everlastings
. chrysocephalum .
not 'sunset red'
but 'sunset blue'
endless burst
time and death .
26 Dec Wednesday
gutted that i didn't set the reminder and forgot. puppets with costumes and lovely make-up on. just as the last project, which is related to 'ritual', 'witchcraft' all sorts.
and .. toys! old childhood toys! since no puppets. toys can do. the colours, forms and sorts that can inspire artists extract the exotic elements from the designs around the world.
social media = mating games = going virtual = show-off peacocks = attention seekers = .. anxious .. narcissistic .. all types of characters that you can see in this online theatre . me the aggressive type . rate / quality : sophisticated (too serious and fake) or shallow (not serious but lame) ones . tells you a lot , this digital portfolio . taste and sorts . personality traits / life attitude . weakness and sorts .
If Grayson Perry and those contemporary pieces ... (society states ...)
26 Dec Tuesday
(random thoughts kicking in) Take time-based media as an art form to display, with those hi-tech or special effects to create this illusion (shatterer flashy images) for the eyes. also with the basic black & white or with early coloured films, just like old films - textures .
then (what if) paintings with filters can be one of those elements . still frame . modern . trending on social media or in the future, and this what so called 'media painting'? even in the gallery, paintings have to be framed, with those tricks - lighting is the key! They all a part of system - 'filters' .
I don't know if I'm being aggressive again, or it's becoming my daily to criticize (from the weekly 'exercise of group crit), being cynical about everything, everyone including me (projecting?), which can be a good thing - in the state of 'lost' and 'not lost' - questioning, breaking the rules, the traditions. Just as the movements that have been existed in history.
Checking 'art critic', if John Berger can be on the list, I'm intrigued. Learning, their ways of thinking. They've got the eyes to observe, to judge politely or just the attitude they hold. How to criticize art? based on what? theories? if you could not 'convince' others to believe?
_________
midnight. watching Bergman's film 'Through A Glass Darkly'.
such an interest play within the film. I have to take a pause and back and take notes. in case i become knackered and full of thoughts in the end and forget.
"i am an artist. .. an artist of the purest kind. .. i score ready-made art , the banal result of vulgar effort. .. my life is my work. and it's dedicated to my love for you. "(for all)
beautiful words but hard to believe. (well spoken - agreed)
"I beg of you. put me to the test." (you failed - liars)
".. an easy sacrifice. for what is life to a true artist." (what about you? wannabe? busy finding 'love?)
".. you ennoble your life and show the skeptics what a true artist can do. .."
".. and death alone shall love me. .." ...
"I am waiting. .. I am waiting. .. I shall wait no longer."
"well. such is life. .."
just as how those people who call themselves 'artist' but too busy showing off (materialism) life attitude. for example, people who take acting as their job, but they call themselves 'artist' (seems like they themselves do not like being entitled themselves an actress or ...? sounds like a waitress? a prostitute? what's wrong with that?! saying 'I love my work') also showing no respect for their photos posted online, if photos can tell a lot about their attitude (not too serious, aesthetically speaking and looks of the photos - selfies - more like narcissists - seeking attentins). I believe that an true artist just as what the play showed, about 'sacrifice, eternity, death...' who is going to see that sacrifice? they are the people who choose 'art' over their own life (time), which I can not reach that height now, but thinking about random things which affect my emotions too much. not healthy personal stuff. too selfish.
adding: I'm being aggressive again. and can not stop at the moment. verbal abuse is ongoing, including to me myself? self-criticizing or self-loathing? no, just telling the truth, not with personas.
'actress' (particularly women, anxious type) is ashamed of their work? please be honest. please be proud as we are all equal but a title (fake code). those people who do not show respect are the ones who should be despised, with such proud attitudes, based on the likes or admirations from those audiences, thinking highly of themselves as public figures, but nothing (if not knowing the basic). education is (not) important (to define a person) if not knowing.
21 Dec Thursday
When Dali meets Dunchamp...
1. pressure. I have no idea why seeing an exhibition can have such an effect on me - time management. TIME! I have to give the 'show at RA more than 3 hours. so this time, again, the last one to leave before closing (fortunately finished, by the word 'finished', I don't know how people can tolerate seeing an exhibition with others - can not focus, but discussion is healthy). or too late not to go there (after days or weeks) but free private views in galleries.
2. excitement. Dali is such a fun character. second time to get to know him, not just painting and one with red lips - sofa. but with the relationships with Duchamp. I saw the articles - about the trend of exhibitions with galleries - connections - not just one artist, but two. Dali's memoir (?) / autobiography I red years ago, the way he sees things as a child is wicked as the surrealistic paintings he paint. (I should've recorded those discoveries myself! hey reflection.sorry that I do not record them on time but after days) Erotic sketches and pieces of Dali's made me blood pumping (?) as boiling water - excitement! just looked at those lines. I did sketches there - happy.
Duchamp is also a great painter! I like his painting - the one with portrait (name..checking notebook). Conceptual art is so much fun!!! I think I'm not as confused as usual - or complaining about 'what is that?', it's the process when you stand in front of the piece and think, to feel but think mostly, intellectually (materials, how they are displayed). if everyone can paint, i doubt everyone can approach the same way when they install through their thoughts. that's why design is endlessly creative. Sculpture is a way of creating as designing (but not for serving the material need). I'm happy that I'm in sculpture pathway now! though I can not attend the workshop to study basic skills about oil-painting, or manipulate images then paint? so what, since I can have the space, the potentials to make fun of materials and ideas - as Dunchamp mentioned in his shot video - 'chess playing ...movement...' (notebook). 'All Hail' was the words. Conceptual is intelligent, which you can put philosophical views and everything you know in the pieces, visually.
Can be verbally, with performances. (actors can act, but can not paint? or everyone can paint, but .. what's the diffrence to differ a good painting or not?) . 'Artist' is such a broad term now that everyone can be entitled themselves to. Yes, artists are wild / wide, they can performance, can create a piece of writing by performing (acting) explosively.
19 Dec Wednesday
20 Dec midnight 3:51am
couldn't fall asleep. so catching up a bit what i did for the day. It appeared that I got negative easily and frequently these days, during the night . or just telling the truth?
'who are you ?
show the friends .
show the words .
show the mind .
show the following .
show the behavior .
show the interests .
show the .. .. ..
whatever the showbiz .
as the old saying .
similarities attract
the same group .
unfortunately .
not the same circle .
and feeling sick eew .
which is a discrimination
too extreme . but why ?
people do that . judge .
just as the appearance
which is one way around
means .. well packaged .
fake inside with the fake .
hence the same circle .
numb unreal fake lost .
getting restricted
the circle . fish tank .
can't get out or be free .
but mating for the mating .
this is the nature of all .'
Issue: human relations and the social circles. Those recent bits of thinking (this is one of them) were inspired by those public figures. I have no idea how superficial they would be. Actually i met one, which is a total liar. Then the halo effect or the fantasy, including the others related to that - in the same circle seems to me is - disgusting, just as those posh (outfit?) rich (or pretend to, outfit) people in the commercial galleries, trying so hard to take photos with the artist or mingling with wine or whatever the drinks are. (i'm not a wine person, too sour or bitter. I'm more into whisky so. I think people who drink whisky is much bolder, real, interesting. well, if the men do not take whiskey as a sign to show maturity or for the game of mating. as the temperament every singular has. warm, dull, you can't drink wine quickly, so it's boring.) .. I have to check things about wine, WINE, why the society give the shit wine such big image or what sign ? as if, for example, taking photos with themselves with a glass of wine, particularly behind them is a painting or just random gesture with random spot.. the social media is a platform, a place to study those interesting characters, just as how a portfolio of work actually can say the personality. interesting. I wonder if i study psychology - when knowing too much - either I'll smirk around those 'ill people and do not bother or being cynical (might worse than what i'm actually doing right now) a lot. The generation is too anxious, showing-off is a sign of weakness, low self-esteem for the narcissists.
'discrimination from elite to ..
well you don't have the education
then you have to be 'elegance'
by showing off the material
the stereotype of how the society's perceived ..'
depersonalisation . as an object . they are the source as an entertainment to satisfy people's loneliness, curiosity .. have to behavior in a certain way, post under the spotlight, repress the true feelings even the moment they are not well (job. that's the attitude. it's just exaggerated for a bigger group people the look, to be observed every move on the red carpet
pubic figures complain about taking photos with other people (as they are from outer space). job jobs . they can the people who can say 'we are all the same, we are all human' the minute ago, then the next minute, the behavior is just the any other (i call it) 'stranger-ship' or more
just as the animals in the zoo, which I agree, fun to look. I feel empathy about them. I mean, I don't know why those people who say
hence they are liars. with those make-up packages, outfit packages, everything, even fake smile or kindness. Oooo especially those charity work, that's one part of the job, as a human with
19 Dec
went to the library . found the book titled 'The Islands of Benoit Mandelbrot - Fractals, Chaos, and the Materiality of Thinking' which is quite interesting, the title 'chaos', 'materiality of thinking', also the cover is appealing (sculpture piece). I know I have to finish the writing, nor I would not feel to thinking the same way again, aggressively and quick. 4:34am.
Flipping through some pages, it is appealing to me that the first few pages
10 Dec Sunday
Doing some research (catching up): some of Antony Gormley's work reminded me of the statue I noticed on the top roof of one art book store (forgot the name) in Oxford - a man (human) figure standing on the edge of the building, that sense of isolation. It did feel a bit spooky to spot that at the first sight. Thought someone's trying to kill himself? (near-sighted, who's standing there?!) Not mentioning during the night, if shedding a light on the sculpture. (checking...) It's his work!!! It's titled 'Another Time II' on top of Blackwell's. I guess he is successful, for having the distinctive subject and style to be known (identified). Also the one I saw at Manchester art gallery (?) in the middle of the top floor. (checking...) Yes, the same human figure that you can not forget, I have to remember his name now.
(not from my phone album - Oxford)
__________
Afternoon, special screening a documentary (film) - 'The Opposition'. It's about the people from the community fight for their homeland, from being embolished by the government / business for the tourist site.
The views and topic about the film can be relevant and can be stressed in the work - such as field and place and such. Human Rights abuse, the homeland, the borders that human invented, pathetic that everyone's talking about being happy and having the freedom, but between country and countries, there are laws, eviction, violence, immigration... (Brexit)... politics... capitalism... society has made it all, by repressing, with circles...
“1. Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each State.
“2. Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.”
7 Dec Thursday
Blame the progress or the struggle I've been dealing with? Looking around what others have been doing. I didn't do much but with confusion. Just make make make and most of them do look like shit. That's what I've been thinking of.
Morning madness - threw away some objects in the kitchen with rage, probably the song I've been playing affected me some way.
Removing the little space .. mess can increase your creativity, but the morning is not. mess. chaos. and no place to put a piece of work. dragging the fabric around the room. then this idea popped in - or it actually affected my behavior - why not just accept it or devalue the work. wasting time and observing those faces (criticizing? laughing? judging? which is understandable. I have to say sorry, I am not thinking that way.)
It's just a piece of shit. And people try to find some connection or meaning behind the pieces within the space ('ooh it's art.. oooh it's in the gallery...') how they idealize the works in that certain place. Everything's fantasized or forced to be in the category of 'ART', hallucination and respect.
Yes I am furious. Per se I hold this way of thinking when I go to see exhibitions (not with traditional paintings, installations mostly). Everyone has different taste, but even people are not enjoying the piece, they still treat the pieces or the artists with high prestigious as their inspiration or an artist to look out for - a reference - a life saving guide book.
So that's how I displayed the work. Threw away similar elements (objects which I have been making), in a way treated them as rubbish. Assemble carefully is not for today, trying to be like having OCD, which is a methodology. Make it grand or visually eye catching - yes I might be jealous that I can not make something huge like them. But the difference makes the avant-garde to born, not with the main stream but different, experiment, bold, challenging.
Seems everyone is trying so hard to make an impression of how to make work attractive.. I'm understanding why the simplicity (keep things simple / write in a short amount of characters is hard). Things that a may seem white or simple but they are not.
try so hard .. think that the good work is good-looking .. what's more interesting is how they treat the work I displayed on the floor - truly as they treat random rubbish on the floor (comparing with the work the other's is gathering around and helping out to display - charming) .. footprints everywhere (even on others' coat) .. manner . as their attitudes towards things that called 'art' in daily like - everything. I do not understand their attitude. and how they praise the work while ignoring the small work just right in front of them?
5 Dec Tuesday
Had the tutorial about Personal Statement, for I have no idea if I haven't attended the individual tutorial for the writing or so, I have nothing new or exciting to show. Plus, last day of the week, had a quick tutorial and I was lost, were discussing about the unknown plant - looks like the wedding flower but more like for the witch, the smell on it gives more shades of the myth. witchcraft, black magic, (love) potion... But the reality is quite disappointing (me), I had this blue print (plan) to hang up a piece of cotton unframed fabric, keep the original texture, earth tone. Paint the mad circles with red paint or black. Considering the space, I might need to postpone the plan, 'where should I cut the fabric and paint?' - your room! do something. 'where should i hang it? too crowded, even in the air' (if future invention could not solve the problem of traffic jam)...
Workshop. Brought a new goodie bag, which is a bunch of died flowers - sunflowers, blue thistles and sorts.
4 Dec Monday
Knew a new art term called 'Formlessness' in painting (i barely used this word 'formless' but abstract or expressive or wild brush strokes... a few vocabulary to describe) - " To Bataille, l’informe was about destroying categories and knocking art off its metaphorical pedestal so that it sat in the gutter.". 'destroy categories' is a great phrase, that can be related to the idea of sculpture - 'elimination of unrecognizable things' - formlessness in (3D / physical) space.
Great research, got inspirations, from the list 'Formlessness' on Tate website, Mike Kelley - 'The Uncanny' (elements: dried flowers, hays, earth, and mini puppet and a box, which I found puppets are quite mysterious and creepy sometimes, just as those impression we hold on rituals).
3 Dec Sunday
Japanese woodblock print and book binding workshop (teaser/free)
It did inspire me a bit about the patterns and colours that I might can not paint them out in the usual way that I paint, completely can change the style of painting into a more delicate way with blended or layers of colours. Yes, I have the reason (have) to cut and make a shape on a piece of wood now, later I can just add paints on the woodblock and play! Was expected more about the book binding techniques, which I've been curious about.
National Gallery
I know I'm in 3D pathway now, but finding some peace (free) with limited opening time left, great choice. Impressionism section is the best - revisit again and again. But discovering
1 Dec Friday
Looking into the myth of Satan (research. reading articles. and this borrowed book from a classmate, who found my work last week is interesting, which is about ritual. so this book 'Girls Against God', indeed right into my taste with those images, ritual performances). Satan, the father of lies, what an character. I believe that no one is all good, while social media is a twisted place that seems to give people such halo effect that convince others to believe 'we are good people' (debatable, questioning the good). Things that's not real, whoever (human) creates such mess - lies - 7 sins. They fear the unknown, the mysterious, reflecting on this modern society - a documentary that I saw 'Grow Up Gay' (LGBT society) or stigma on mental health issues (people can talk about their physical illness easily) or bullies or domestic violence (power over others, what they see as a weak person) ... they 'discriminate' the subject that might overpower themselves, the majorities create such rules to abolish the 'normality'.
"Satan - the fallen angel
ritual performance - calling
same world
higher / lower
down to hell
fire - burning"
enter the sphere.
______
Midnight around 1:30
I've been feeling fuming. Saw this piece 'Total Art Match-Box'. perfect match of how it described my feeling now - the inner self - anger - try to burn and destroy everything. I like the image of how it was displayed, also the idea to destroy anything related to art. This is bold and reckless. Did some research - the story behind this piece. "devalue objects" and Dada (hail to Dada, I am all for it. )
devalue the objects we all think highly of - art. What a fancy word to be said. Art .. is shit, when it comes to everything. The attitude people have about art is like a purified word. Ready-mades pop art (haha hilarious) Andy Warhol .. what a great commercial artist .. I like his work. Also the powerpoint earlier about 'the language of objects' - the quote from Warhol about the supermarket - can't agree any more. He is commercially succeeded, influential as well, might due to the environmental in the US. I think commercial art, particularly, is shit. Businessmen without any art education can be the top of the game - selling. The value behind the spreading and educating the public turns into a game. I admire their artistic side of the work (or if there are some interesting ideas behind the work), as a person, I don't know, as most personal life of the artists share is madness - which is fine. Their purpose - unknown.
27 Nov Monday
Dada is on my mind after the film Manifesto, I've never done any research about this art movement. Was trying to find who wrote the manifesto, luckily found the one - 'Dada manifesto 1918' by Tristan Tzara. if 'Dada means Nothing', then I'm for it.
George Orwell has 'double thinking'
I did see some exhibition about Dada in China years ago, those artists seem quite rebellious, which I adore, the spirit, the paintings, the performance that were recorded, I still remember them visually - the gun shot in public performance (particularly the social environment back in time in China, Dada seems to destroy everything, the rules, then create something of their own? ..What's your priority? To write a personal statement! I know I'm going back and finish the text..
random thoughts
Thoughts of my recent daily (cope & paste here) for the reference of 'who i am' ? that's one of the questions I've been thinking, probably all the time, without doing the project .. confused about that sense of self, if there's one particular way to define 'self' ?
some of them said that my social media page could be my reflection page; some of them said that I'm probably the only person who write (post) so much, that 'stream of consciousness' ... sometimes i feel bad that i overused the media (not a person like sharing, but thanks to my writing, poetic way? I don't know how I do it, those words turn into something obscure but very present of what i feel and think at that moment.
The contents might contain something rude ..
27/11 Monday morning 10
"required thinking - failed - emotional need - wrote nonsense - few words - task failed"
was reading this book 'How to get control of your Time and your Life' on the train, after i failed my to-do list 'write the personal statement' .. 'required thinking' and 'emotional need' are two lovely match words, catchy to the eyes .. also the self-study week - I almost got a referral - I couldn't focus (not meaning i was playing or having fun or doing drugs or watching ridiculous tv shows ..) - which is something hard to control - the state of mind (or how the emotional receptor can effect your daily works or everything) .. as the book referenced "sometimes it's best to wait until your mood is right for doing something.." which can leads to procrastination sometimes, "since you don't know for a fact know how hard something is ... this is much more likely to get you started .." no excuse, but 'Experiment'!!! 'Do something' .. greatest inventors are the fearless type.
27/11 Midnight around 1:30
"making more sense now .
writing like a bad person
acting like a cold person
saying nonsense / lies /
instant thoughts / disturbance
impulsivity / insensitivity .."
27/11 Midnight
"missing hours
might go sleepwalking
stuffed brain
should eat regularly
have headache
sleep or take pills
when sleep is not the option
when hardly concentrate ..
where have you been ?
what have you been doing ?
blacked out .. let's just pretend .."
your vision
your mind
psychosis
control freak
blurry nature
it's mental
'psycho'
follow through
step by step
in the name of
'Bates Motel'
(me - after watching 'psycho' and some videos that are related, 'psychosis' is an interesting hunt - research. then project on me - when you think too much, those paradoxes, 'angel and santa' represents 'extreme thoughts' , then you lose that sense of self.)
26/11
"painting as object
object as painting
witty 'Canvas'
surface | space
finding truth"
26/11
"gallery is an interesting place . look at those people .. couldn't be more interesting if it was in a commercial , private gallery .. presence . performance . parties . in a sort of dissociative spiritual way . who are you ? what are you judging at ? you'd never know if someone is with innocent outlook (but better than you) or a wolf with lamb's skin . showing my compassion to you and thank you for the appreciation .. art . what is art ?"
(thoughts and observation after the Friday night, private view in a gallery in Soho, looked around and the artist himself, the attitude, or due to the identity 'me as a student', they are like the capitalism or the bullies or .. social gap is everywhere.)
"find a puppet elsewhere
repair or replace
or varnish or makeup
good luck
in this space
eyes eyes eyes
mind mind mind
see you through
a paralleled fantasy
strangers passengers
fake interactions
fake pieces fake
fake public spaces"
(another one which is related to the pubic spaces, also the 'prostitutes and the history of red lips' , the ideas about 'seduce' , trying to find a connection behind witchcraft and those modern phenomenon, or it's the nature of love as the book 'The Natural History of Love' wrote? I am poisoned from reading books about 'love' .. and the night i had this idea like a play - me as a prostitute - poured flour from the top of my head - dress like a peacock in a lady term - seduce. I believe that the most powerful performance is a way of self-destruction - the purest, after I went to see Marina Abramovic's video pieces at The Strand - at last - just sat there for an hour watching in a real gallery, it must be more powerful if you are there face to face 'Silent Sitting' .. push the boundaries / physical limits of the body. I'm way too far from that performance art.)
25/11 Night
"Satan . arise from underworld .. the descend .. with poisons ."
(after I went to see the ritual performance with puppets)
25/11
"pathological liars
it's not a disease to be a liar
it's a common fever everywhere .
welcome (new) home
the final destination
you've found your belongings .
celebrate . in return .
to fit in . or .. out .
basis to survive .
kindness . fake .
rubbish . lambs .
liars . rule .
say say say . jokes .
what did you say ?
sorry I was not following .
take it easy .
let's play .
copy & paste .
listen or not ?"
25/11
"see everything
love nothing .
pathetic man (women)
cry for the attachments
to be happy (particularly)
and play the game .
complete idiots .
complete nothing .
nothing . nothing ."
(it contains some words, or the whole piece that i saw in the film MANIFESTO, when the widower is talking about Dadaism. though I changed it a bit, with my fascination about men and women? also as the part of the film, the artist quoted 'Nothing is Original', so just steal it, use your imagination, that's what i'm doing ... naturally)
Nov. 26 Sunday
Just finished the exhibition - Jasper Johns 'Something Resembling Truth' - at last!! Fresh, have to write some thoughts down (outside). It was a pity that I was in a rush at the end, clearly 3 hours is not enough for me, enough for the half of the work.
Spent too much time observing and taking notes (a bit), more like 'space out', thinking - always a problem with the time management, lost time track. So, Jasper Johns works are categorized into contemporary paintings (art),
Particularly two sections, that can be related the pathway I'm in. 'Painting as Object', interesting subtitle, turn a way around, Object as Painting,
Nov. 23 Thursday
I feel sorry about the routine (that I might not follow) - to remember group members' name then write their names down in a such 'lively' environment (but a good way to know people). But I remember their faces and can match them with their works, so I'll code them on by one and make some comments about what I learned from them.
The whole ideas about the piece of my own got more clearer when I made presentations (with some of their questions), or just this morning? more or when I displayed those little objects, the ideas from the origin (nothing) has been developed into a complete system that can make sense of what I have been doing during these days. It's transformative.
The first one = Code 1 (not creative at all), in the end, you would forget people's names anyway. Seeing the work with such dedication (a real hands-on) and time, with lots of little orgami paper work by using travel tickets (receipts - daily objects - collecting). And I feel ashamed of how I just manipulate the objects I had bought (found objects), though after the tutorial in Wednesday, I had fun with plaster (AHH at last!). It's interesting that when it's the turn for the creator to speak, he was not expected to think the piece / idea in that way - the theme ...? I feel related, that's the fun side about group crit - gathering , guessing , growing . When others interpret the piece, they guess the intention behind the 'artist', without artist's notion (some exciting ideas come along - as an old saying quotes - Hamlet , everyone has their own system to function, to understand, to imagine one side of the story. It is a craft. When someone said 'it looks like a city', (some of whom feels 'it makes sense', or somehow triggered the same similar function) others would continue the imagination (story),'yeah, it looks like a busy city with tubes, maps, modern architectures. I guess sometimes it'd be a better idea to go out and see the contemporary exhibitions with another friend that might help me from understanding those pieces from different angles and related, like, 'why didn't i think of that? hmmm", from discussions.
Nov. 22 Wednesday
After the tutorial about photoshop, I did something at last, of making something? Nope, literarily I didn't make something, more like assembling those objects I prepared yesterday.
Some of the problems are : 1. There is not enough space or clean (not occupied) white wall to use to display works. 2. Even though I 'm not deciding to lay those wood blocks on the wall, still, there are lots of modern real barriers around 'us' with those 'stuff', which are desks and chairs. Maybe I should've be violent and rude a bit, removed those tables out and wait till see others' reactions later or on Thursday morning. Then I used this little black circle, I assume which was painted by some former student, a circle just like one of my original ideas - rituals.
I like assembling things, it seems all making more sense now. It has been fun, though I spend most of my time doubting myself - what have i been doing? - I have no idea... I heard tutor was answering one of the students, quite brilliant hearing, my ears caught some key words - make some shit, and you don't know what you are doing, and you question about works (have questions)... this is the point and more interesting. I agree with that - questions all over the place, and I have no idea indeed.
It looks like shit (for now, end of the day), but I'll take it as a baby step, first week of the sculpture pathway. I felt happy (though it looked like shit) when I was 'making' it - keep it casual? with ideas behind it? no stress. I know installation should be visually stunning? (no, maybe not from this piece I made) I wish. (especially when i noticed that someone was making experiment with the dripping wax - candles, observing the patterns on the paper. It was fascinating to see the progress, if he could recorded as a video, candle - the daily things we have already thought familiar with, but when you turn objects like candles upside down, and with different lengths to reveal something, like physics truth? how we manipulate things in a way to illuminate another possibility of the object and explain the phenomenon in a visual way, see the miracle happens.
Looked at the ready-to-serve objects, they looks like quite random, but from the help of the tutor, I've known that I can approach differently - put things that seem nonsense altogether in a plate (in a space).
Nov.21 Tuesday
I like tutorials. After a lecture about writing the personal statement, yes, realized that time is ticking. Time management always is a problem, mostly I have no idea what or where have i been (doing), thinking or developing new ideas like it's never going to end, thinking not making?
Task of the day is : have to have something made (to show) by the end of the day, since the crit is on Thursday morning.
The tutorial I had was fun, like in a territory room when police ask potential guilty person ? And it ended very quickly, not talking about ideas any more, haven't made anything decent? as the final outcome?
It's all about the process and experiment? Then yes, I had fun and I like experiment, I should start to change the habit - think too much on the paper or in my head, and experiment. Just as those cult, exciting, out of the main stream experimental films back in time, they were the pioneers of the ideas of the time, thought-provoking, Just as avant-garde films or any terms of writings - 'stream of consciousness' ... They all seem weird or obscure or
"Make something!", followed the spirit passing through the tutor, I went outside to find and get some materials, as a hunter. I got a bit distracted? Charity shop - lots of interesting stuff - necklaces , perfect for people who chase after vanity and material matters - they can actually eat the money.
Leaving - but then stopped in the
I went to plaster workshop! I like that, not working with machine (got a phobia?). I had this brief idea to do some experiment with paper, to see what happened
Comment of the day? I have no idea what I have been doing, to be honest. I collected those (beautiful) accidents - too much plaster (powder) - but I'm happy that I didn't just throw them away, the texture with my fingers' movement on the drying plaster, looks like the decorations people used to put in the plasterwork? I started wondering the connection between plaster and the wall... what's made of wall / buildings / ...?
This week, when I hunt for objects, the most frequently asked questions is 'what is made of ...what'. I just knew that chocolate is made from trees (great knowledge, basic from cocoa, but ahh think about deeper - trees), self-expanding (growth) and gaining knowledge, 3D indeed is about playing (intelligence).
Nov.20 Monday
Was reading through random articles as I've always been doing. Just knew that 'apple' is a representation of love and sexuality, in symbolism.
It reminded me of that painting called "Old Man" with a green apple covered ... last Thursday.
Talking about space, the invisible 'personal space' is everywhere, just as breathing. Talking about 'presence'
it's like what you would here when you do tarots or some psyche tributes? or black magic, or modern meditation. in a such mysterious to be mindfulness and be present and focus.
What happened when we feel the air around our physical body? when we look at the sky and the movement of clouds ...
presence. posing. taking photos. or selfies as a way to record their existence at that moment and that particular space.
play intelligence, not particularly separated into 2D or 3D, I felt better every time after chatting with tutors, not literarily speaking, 'chatting' ,
Have to be honest, after the tutorial, the state of mine went on a roller coster, also includes the loss of where I'm going, means I achieved nothing after, still, but gladly, the tutor found some connection. I learned that installations or me - is allowed to be different from all the other, approaching, outcome in my own way. the artist Camille Henrot is a reference from tutor - lots of random objects, by assembling them in a way (though I haven't found the connection yet. so contemporary art is hard to understand, but it's the point of getting something from the piece ... like a myth, from your perspective of understanding probably.)
While talking, the question just popped on while showing the video i did last Thursday, coming out of a cocoon - take magicians as an example, how they perform the escaping scene, the whole process (before that, cause tutor mentioned the meditation or what, it's the process that leads to the ultimate peace and silence, you need the process to clear them out from your mind?) of playing tricks, if that period of time counts?
Can 'presence' mean a period of time in that certain space?
__________
Around 15:40
Looking around what others has been doing, and I still achieve nothing for now, stuck with this play or game which is a 'circle' as the tutor said.
I'm picturing me being present just standing there, still, like a street artist performing then, Thursday critic doing nothing.
Chatting. Listening to others' ideas.
'presence' is occupying my mind. perfume. the sensual experience. the smell of perfume. imagine some stranger walk pass you, somehow people put perfume on as a daily product to
and the receiver who smell that, is actually becoming the presence of a figure, and interestingly, the person will identify someone by just the bit of (sniff), the memory of all related comes out.
(brain)
People collect bone ashes in a glass box to remember the death. Some choose to display in the room with them, as the person is still in presence with them
Perfume. The sense of smell. The florist , the farmer , people who live in somewhere, and you’ll notice that each family has a sense of differences when you visit a new place (home).
Flowers. They will die someday. The presence of how people buy them as a decorateon , the moment or days when they look at the bunch of flowers, they get this satisfactory of possession – very fulfilled and with pure joy – the reaction to the beauty. when the moment – the evitableity of death . that was the presence of death – the end of life, people take photos of that .it all become instant. (“About Looking” by John Berger . the use of photograph)
How ? perfume made of ? - Flowers. and what are the other ingredients .